Donald Trump Recently Acquired Bihar! But got Kidnapped in Patna!!!
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump “Acquires” Bihar, Gets Kidnapped in Patna Within 24 Hours
Patna, Bihar — In what experts are calling a landmark case study in overconfidence, former U.S. President Donald J. Trump reportedly acquired the Indian state of Bihar late Sunday night, only to be kidnapped in Patna by Monday morning.
Table of Contents
- The Historic Acquisition Deal
- Trump’s Grand Arrival in Patna
- The Kidnapping Incident
- Local and Global Reactions
- Conclusion: Lessons Unlearned
The Historic Acquisition Deal
According to unnamed but extremely confident sources, Mr. Trump finalized the acquisition of Bihar after reportedly mistaking its population of over 120 million people for “a very large but manageable housing project.”
The deal was allegedly sealed after Trump was assured that Bihar had:
- “Tremendous manpower”
- “Incredible potential, many rivers”
- And land prices that made Florida look “embarrassing”
Trump later claimed the acquisition was “the best state deal in the history of states, maybe ever,” adding that Bihar would soon be renamed “Trump Pradesh.”
Trump’s Grand Arrival in Patna
Trump arrived in Patna amid heavy security and even heavier expectations. Stepping out of his motorcade, he reportedly praised the city, stating:
“Beautiful place. Very energetic. A lot of traffic. Reminds me of New York, but with more cows and better negotiation skills.”
Eyewitnesses confirm Trump attempted to address the crowd with the slogan “Make Bihar Great Again”, which was met with polite confusion and immediate bargaining attempts. One local muttered, “अरे भाई, कौन हैं ये?” (translation: "Who is this guy?")
The Kidnapping Incident
The situation escalated when Trump insisted on personally inspecting “local business operations,” which sources later clarified meant a roadside tea stall near Patna Junction. Locals report he tried to negotiate the price of अदरक वाली चाय (ginger tea) like a CEO acquiring a Fortune 500 company.
Within minutes, Trump was reportedly kidnapped by unidentified individuals who allegedly demanded:
- Two infrastructure projects
- One express railway line
- And a signed affidavit promising jobs for “everyone’s cousin”
Authorities later confirmed Trump was released unharmed after agreeing to all demands and complimenting the kidnappers on their “very strong negotiation tactics.”
Local and Global Reactions
Global leaders responded cautiously. The White House issued a brief statement saying it was “reviewing how a U.S. citizen managed to buy an Indian state without involving geography.”
Meanwhile, locals in Patna appeared unfazed. One resident was quoted saying:
“Happens every week. Last time it was a contractor.”
Indian officials declined to comment, citing that “this situation does not exist in any legal framework known to mankind.”
Conclusion: Lessons Unlearned
As Trump boarded his return flight, he reportedly told aides that Bihar was “a tough state, very tough,” but added that he would consider reacquiring it “after better due diligence and fewer tea breaks.”
Experts agree the incident will be remembered as a reminder that:
- Geography matters
- Local knowledge is essential
- And Bihar is not for beginners
This article is satire. Any resemblance to reality is purely intentional.